Self-Sabotage
I wouldn't say that I have been stupid...I think perhaps "stubbornly resistant to acknowledging reality" would be more accurate. You see, my favorite food is peppermint ice cream. Even five years as a total vegan, about three of which I went completely without sugar, didn't eliminate my taste for it. The difficulty is that peppermint ice cream seems to only be made during the holiday season. I don't think you can get it *anywhere* during the other 10-1/2 months of the year. So if something you really like is only available during a limited time, you are inclined to get as much of it as possible during that time, right? Well, that is what I have been doing. And the results are not pretty.
I looked at the nutritional information on the back of a carton of peppermint ice cream yesterday, and ran the numbers in my head. I prefer not to say exactly how much ice cream I have been eating in terms of cups or ounces; however, I just about croaked when I realized that I have been consuming approximately 1000 calories' worth, almost every day, for the last few weeks. That is 7000 calories a week! SEVEN THOUSAND CALORIES!! One pound of fat is 3500 calories; that means that I have been consuming enough ice cream that if everything else were in balance before I started permitting this obsession to take over my brain, I would be gaining two pounds a week. GAAAAH!! No wonder when I saw my silhouette in the mirror by accident the other day I almost didn't recognize it!
Yes, I knew I was eating too much ice cream. Yes, I suspected it was affecting my shape. Yes, I noticed that my shape was going in a direction that did not please me. However, until I actually ran the numbers, I was fooling myself that it didn't really make that much of a difference. Hence my opening comment about being "stubbornly resistant to acknowledging reality."
I am thinking about putting a sign on the freezer that says something like, "Do you REALLY want to gain two pounds a week?" Or maybe a picture of me at my heaviest (now, or a couple of other times--although I have a lot more muscle (from BFL) than I did any other time I was this weight) next to one of me in my best shape...with some appropriate comment.
I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted by how good I am at fooling myself. Me, I'm going with plain ol' disgusted.
I looked at the nutritional information on the back of a carton of peppermint ice cream yesterday, and ran the numbers in my head. I prefer not to say exactly how much ice cream I have been eating in terms of cups or ounces; however, I just about croaked when I realized that I have been consuming approximately 1000 calories' worth, almost every day, for the last few weeks. That is 7000 calories a week! SEVEN THOUSAND CALORIES!! One pound of fat is 3500 calories; that means that I have been consuming enough ice cream that if everything else were in balance before I started permitting this obsession to take over my brain, I would be gaining two pounds a week. GAAAAH!! No wonder when I saw my silhouette in the mirror by accident the other day I almost didn't recognize it!
Yes, I knew I was eating too much ice cream. Yes, I suspected it was affecting my shape. Yes, I noticed that my shape was going in a direction that did not please me. However, until I actually ran the numbers, I was fooling myself that it didn't really make that much of a difference. Hence my opening comment about being "stubbornly resistant to acknowledging reality."
I am thinking about putting a sign on the freezer that says something like, "Do you REALLY want to gain two pounds a week?" Or maybe a picture of me at my heaviest (now, or a couple of other times--although I have a lot more muscle (from BFL) than I did any other time I was this weight) next to one of me in my best shape...with some appropriate comment.
I don't know whether to be pleased or insulted by how good I am at fooling myself. Me, I'm going with plain ol' disgusted.
posted by Cheryl | 9:39 PM
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